Off the Cuff: Girl Stuff

We’re baaaaack with another episode of Off the Cuff! As previously promised, this episode addresses the issue of overly-aggressive girls. My son, Hayden, (age 20) weighs in about how he and many of his Christians guy friends feel about girls who go overboard when it comes to initiating contact with the opposite sex.

If you are just now tuning in to the series, you can check out the introduction video here. Click the blog tab above to scroll down to other Off the Cuff episodes (Snapchat and tips on having the “sex talk” with your kids).

Screen Shot 2013-09-23 at 3.42.32 PMThank you so much to those of you who have weighed in with questions (keep ’em coming!) and your encouragement. I apologize for not getting these clips up faster, but I am in the final stretch of writing a new book (due on October 15th). Add to that, the challenge of pinning down a very busy college boy and whew, it’s been tougher than I thought to shoot the Off the Cuff segments. In fact, Hayden is stopping by today and we are planning to shoot several more episodes to release in the weeks to come. In the meantime, thanks for your patience!

As always, please weigh in with your thoughts on this topic or feel free to submit a new question for us to consider.


  1. Esther says

    THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! When I sent a request several months ago, this was one of the top priority topics that our daughter wanted to get some input on from Christian guys! Recently, we asked one of my husband’s students (currently a college senior) for his thoughts on girls who ‘blow up’ a guy’s cell phone/text messages after having only one casual contact with the guy. His response, ‘That freaks me out and makes me run in the other direction. Seriously, it’s very disconcerting and really gives a negative impression – like the girl is desperate for a guy’s attention.” We are so thankful for these ‘Off the Cuff’ chats and for all of the other resources provided through your ministry! Keep up the excellent and most valuable teaching!!

  2. Nancy Bruce says

    My daughter went off to college this fall as a Freshman. She has a boyfriend at home who has already visited her twice at college. She had told me he would get a hotel room, but I have reason to believe he is staying in her dorm room. Of course today most dorms are Co-ed and have no real curfew so this goes on all the time, I guess. She knows what we think about this but she sees no problem with it. And her roommate is doing the same. I have talked with her about putting herself in a situation of strong temptation (and the guy as well) and also what she’s doing to her reputation. But she just shrugs it all off. How do I best communicate with her as to why this is not a good idea.

  3. says

    I love watching these Off the Cuff conversations with y’all. However, this one raises more questions for me. (Sorry, I didn’t get to submit any questions). My husband and I have raised our daughters to not pursue boys and neither of them were bold in that way. (One is getting married in 2.5 weeks and the other is 17). However, I have a 13 year old son who is too darn cute for his own good! And he is getting the bold (not explicit or sexual at this point, thankfully) texts and has girls “chasing” him. For the most part, I believe he is handling it well. However, when it’s someone he would consider a school friend (of the opposite sex) that is initiating texts, how would you advise him to respond? It seems rude to not respond at all, yet I still feel these girls are being too bold. Thanks!

  4. Becky says

    This is the best ever!!! Love the conversation between the two of you!! Just watched 3 of the “off the cuff” videos! I would love everyone in our youth ministry to see these. Thank you so much for posting them! In such prayer over our youth today! I am the girl’s ministry coordinator at our church and I want girls to know that their worth comes from Christ and not boys or the world’s standards. We have booked a conference with you for April and we can not wait! We are praying for God to work in the lives of our girls and their moms! Thanks again for these posts…. love the relationship you have with Hayden!!! Thanks for sharing!

  5. Jessica says

    Vicki your heart has to be warmed as you hear Hayden reinforce what you have been teaching him. This is a great video! With 3 daughters of my own (8, 4, 3) this is something their dad and I want for their lives. I love the phrase “wait to be pursued.” Thank you for sharing with the rest of us!

  6. says

    I agree with the comment above. How do we think our sons should respond to girls being so bold?

  7. sara says

    Whenever my kids start to hold on too tight to some item or idea, i remind them not to let it become a strong hold of their heart, because when they do that there is no room for Jesus. When they worry about what others think or do or stress about something— they are not letting go. And true– people can tell when someone is basing their self worth on some false value..instead of being confident and secure in their own value and Jesus’ love.

  8. Karis says

    Thank you for the time and effort you guys put into discussing these issues! Even though this video was intended more for parents, I found this very helpful and encouraging for me as a young college girl. Being in college, surrounded by so many couples, tends to make me want a relationship, but I have no intention of pressuring guys to be interested in me and I want to wait for God to bring the right man into my life…a godly leader who will initiate the relationship. It was encouraging to hear Hayden say that guys notice girls who aren’t so aggressive to be in a relationship! :) But even more helpful was the point that we need to find our worth and identity in Christ who loves us perfectly and completely! Thanks again!!

  9. Mom-of-Twin-Teens says

    I absolutely LOVE this series of videos with you and Hayden teaching together! I have twin daughters who are 14, and we will have them watch this clip this weekend! Perfect back-up for our conversation about NOT TEXTING BOYS! Your video will help them see that we parents are not just putting up a shield … There is a REASON for our guidance. When they listen to Hayden’s personal, Christfilled experiences … My girls will “get it.” Thank you for these videos! Sometimes I feel weary when I hear myself saying “No!” to my kids over and over. But you are inspiring me, Vicki! And you are giving me tools to TEACH why I am setting boundaries. Thank you!

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