Nov 23, 09
By now, you’ve probably seen the footage above of college student, Elizabeth Lambert, a soccer player for the New Mexico Lobos. Talk about a bully. This girl brings a whole new meaning to the phrase “poor sportsmanship.” She has since been suspended indefinitely for her over-the-top rough play, but related news stories indicate there is a whole crop of girls just like her who have yet to be caught on camera. Which begs the question: Is this yet another consequence of the damaging “girl power” message that has been peddled to our girls over the years?
And while her behavior is atrocious and deserving of stiff penalties, I think there are some other penalties that need to be doled out to a few other “key players.” How many adult authority figures stood by on the sidelines through the years and allowed this young “lady” (and that’s being generous) to behave in this manner? You can’t tell me that the officials, her coaches, and even her parents weren’t aware of this disturbing character flaw. Which is exactly what it is — a character flaw. Let’s not label this as “assertiveness” or “dominance” on the playing field. I know things can heat up in sports when the score is tight, but you can’t tell me this was an isolated event. This girl didn’t just snap during the game (as she claims) and morph from pre-game princess into a raging hair-pulling maniac. Let’s hope her hand-slap suspension is followed up with some intense counseling and anger management courses.
In the meantime, allow this to serve as a wake-up call to those of us with daughters (and sons) in sports. We need to educate our children to the reality that they may be up against competitors like Elizabeth who believe that winning at any cost is more important than character. And let’s not be naive. Unless we teach our children proper sportsmanship and employ an attitude of zero-tolerance to on-the-field tantrums and bad behavior, our daughters (or sons) could just as easily be the next viral sensation in the Internet hall of shame. To the tune of 1.8 million views… and counting. Call it a hunch, but I’m betting things will be a bit tense in the Lambert home over the holidays.
Short-tempered people must pay their own penalty. If you rescue them once, you will have to do it again. (Proverbs 19:19)
Actually, I wouldn’t be a bit surprised to discover that the parents of this gal and others like her are the parents who had shouting matches themselves with coaches and officials when their little darlings were playing sports at age 6, 8, and 11. Some folks don’t seem to be able to recognize that it’s a game.
We are trying to stop this before it becomes a problem in our house now! My granddaughter (3 years) loves to play games. When she wins she has started the “nana-nana-boo-boo” thing! We couldn’t believe it the first time this happened. We explained to her about being a good sport and how it is just as important to be nice when you win as when you loose and are teaching her to say how well the other person played when the game is over. You can imagine at three most of the games are Memory, Candy Land and the such, but the lesson we are trying to teach is to be kind no matter if you win or loose! Just like anything else, her education begins at home!
That almost made me cry. I hate violence and found that extremely appalling. I wouldn’t let her back on the field. Sick.
I have a high school daughter that plays competitive sports. I see this kind of play all the time…and it is cheered on by the parents and coaches. Winning at any cost makes you a ‘stronger player’…more ‘respected’ by your team. You are supported on the field when you play rough and can do it without getting caught by the refs. I think to some extent ‘feared’ is a better interpretation…and often when skills are lacking the rough play increases to make up the difference. I don’t like it. It is hard to raise my daughter to compete (which is something she loves) and to not buy into this form of play…especially when you have to play against this type of play. We talk often of character and ethics of play…
I just had to comment. I have a 15yr old daughter that plays soccer for high school and club teams. We have encountered many players, teams & parents that have displayed poor sportsmanship. Our experiences have not been as bad as this one that you reference to, but our girls have been called “losers” by parents sitting on the side lines. They would yell, “How does it feel to be a loser” and then yell at us, the parents, “How does it feel to be the parents of losers”. It took all we had to leave that game without stooping to their level. This was the same team that punched our girls during the end of the game handshake and spit in their faces. This was in middle school!
At high school level we see tons of foul language, fist fights, punching on the field and horrible behavior, on and off the field. What is sad is that the majority of the players parents/family are encouraging and/or participating in this activity. My daughter was hauled off the field with a grade 3 concussion and the other teams coach was going over game plans! What happened to being kind, treating others as you would like to be treated? We have been blessed to have wonderful Christian men/women work with our daughter and they expect good sportsmanship in order to play. I hope that she will always continue to act on and off the field with respect and honor.
Thank you for addressing this issue…it is a “hot” topic in our household of 3 girls involved in sports!
You know, I’ve got to say, I am not surprised. I am 24 years old and feel like I have been dealing with these types of girls my entire life. They are taught that they can be aggressive and dominant, and other people will comply with their wishes out of fear. I spent my entire freshman year of high school crying in the bathroom at lunch time, until my mom taught me how to fight back. “Kill ‘em with kindness”, she said, and taught me to be assertive in treating them with kindness. In my four years of high school combating these aggressive girls, I actually had two make a turnaround and treat me kindly – they said they respected me for standing up to them in a kind but firm manner. There is hope.
And now, in the business world, these same kind of girls are bringing that behavior to the work place. They take pride in their ability to intimate others into acting the way they want. The weird thing is, again, I have stood up to them, and kindly but firmly explained that I would not take their threats. I was firm about my personal boundaries and now they want to be my friend!?!
So for any moms out there hoping to teach their daughters how to handle these unhealthy aggressive girls, there is hope. Tell them not to live in fear, but to stand firm in the power they have in the Lord (and maybe learn some self-defense)!
I am in pain from watching that. Are you kidding me? Thanks for posting this, Vicki. I am definitely spreading the word to my parents. We have many students here who are involved in sports!
It doesn’t just happen….
These girls/boys are a product of “home”!
When you’re taught to value other’s….YOU DO!
It’s a shame to see that it is more and more acceptable to be the bully…on and off the field!
I am a soccer player and have coached soccer for 29 years (both boys and girls). I think that the media has grabbed hold of this clip and we are “shocked” because we believe and perhaps even support the stereotype of the “good girl”. Thousands of boys behave exactly in the same manner and we hear nothing in the media because it is “okay” for boys to be aggressive (we might even say that “boys will be boys”). Does sport need to change? Do parents need to take a look at themselves and see how their bullying behavior is being modeled by their children? Definitely. But let’s not jump all over this situation because a female athlete is behaving badly and being racked through the “media ” coals. To single out this athlete and replay this clip over and over only serves to damage all the efforts females have put forth to be included in sport and in doing so continues to promote gender inequity and discrimination.
As a teacher, I’ve seen over and over parents who excuse or deny that their child has anger problems. They will sometimes blame other people or circumstances for their outbursts. I am quite sure that teachers, students, and other parents have had to endure this girls outbursts in the past.
It all starts at home.
That made my stomach turn. Who does she thinks she is treating people that way? And why do so many people tolerate it? This child (she is only a few years younger than me, but how can she be considered an adult?) and her parents should be ashamed of themselves and embarrased. Frankly I am embarrased for them.
There could be something done about this. The media could certainly be more harsh, as well as coaches, teammates and the public in general. Thanks so much for your hard working exposing these girls. I am becoming more aware of things and people to steer my daughter away from.
C
This is appalling. I’m sure it happens more often than not, boys or girls. (like a previous poster, I can’t call her a woman or adult because she is certainly not acting like one!) This is not what sports are about, and for adults/parents to look the other way and even encourage this type of aggression is not what God calls us to do.
Where are the Ref’s? My daughter is only ten and played soccer and wasn’t too aggressive, I am really glad she wasn’t after watching that video. I think I like Upward Sports so much better, maybe we need Upward for adults