I was hoping to get a post up today related to “mean girls,” but it will have to wait until Monday/Tuesday. I thought I would be feeling back to normal after having my wisdom teeth removed a couple days ago, but when I sat down to write the post this morning, it just didn’t flow. After two days of sitting around in my jammie pants and binging on sherbet and HGTV, my brain has clearly, atrophied.

So instead, I thought I would tackle something a bit more mindless and turn it into a fun give-away at the same time. I need to give credit to Travis Cottrell (one of my all-time favorite worship leaders) for this idea. He recently did a post on his blog that featured random pics from his cellphone. Yeah, I know. Kinda gives you an idea of where my mind is, as of late. Clearly, it’s already in vacation-mode.

So here is a small sampling of some of the more “random” pics on my cellphone:

One of my favorite places to fill up on Chicken Fried Steak: Bluebonnet Cafe in Marble Falls, Texas. Comfort food at its best.

Scout is clearly terrorizing my in-law’s cat on a recent visit to the ranch. Doesn’t Sammie look intimidated?

There is nothing more precious (yes, “precious” is a perfect word for this image) than a macho, sports-playing, oh-so-cool teenage boy snuggling with a little pint-sized pocket pup. And I’m guessing I’ll be in trouble for posting this picture.

This is one of many images taken while engaging in a “virtual shopping” experience with my daughter who is over 800 miles from home attending college. She has been wanting a good pair of cowboy boots and I happened upon these at Nordstrom Rack in San Antonio. Yes, she loved them. No, she didn’t get them. Price tag: $199. Enough said.

Not everyone can say they have been photographed with Billy Graham, but now I can. He’s much taller in person. This was taken by my fabulous editor, Jennifer Lyell, outside of the LifeWay building while on a recent trip to Nashville. My fabulous publicist, Andrea is on the right. Doesn’t it kinda look like I’m trying to pickpocket Billy?

Now, it’s your turn. Comment back (on this post) and describe the most random pic on your cell-phone and I’ll enter you in a give-away for drumroll, please: a signed copy of Travis Cottrell’s Christmas CD, Ring the Bells! Just in time to blast in your car while headed to the mall to knock out your Christmas shopping. And for you non-techies out there who only make phone calls with your cell-phones, don’t worry, I won’t leave you out. Tell me one random fact about you and you’re in the drawing. Ready, set, go! We’ll draw for a winner the day before Thanksgiving.

Wow, this may have been the longest I’ve gone without making a post. Things have been a bit crazy as of late with a trip to Nashville the end of last week, my son’s playoff football game in Houston over the weekend, and then the most exciting activity of all: I got my wisdom teeth removed yesterday! Have I ever mentioned before that I’m not a fan of any procedure that involves my teeth? (As if anyone is, huh?) I got one wisdom tooth out in my college years and it concluded with a fainting episode, so needless to say, I didn’t rush back to get the last three removed. I have somehow managed to successfully ignore my dentist’s recommendation to get the final three removed for over two decades. Until now.

This time around was fairly uneventful since they knocked me out fully for the procedure. My recovery has gone well except for a minor little episode last night where the Vicodin didn’t sit well on my empty stomach. Which begs the question: Why do they prescribe something that must be taken with food after a procedure that has left you with little ability to put food into your stomach? I’ll spare you the details, but I found it rather ironic that the Vicodin was prescribed to reduce the pain in my jawline yet ended up being the cause of it in the end.

All is well today. I have no discomfort other than some slight soreness and I have NO SWELLING! I’m working on a “mean girls” post and hopefully, it will be up tomorrow. That is, if I can get it done in between naps and ice cream sherbet breaks. 

Adults, age 35 and up, are currently the fastest growing audience on Facebook. They are rushing over to join the fun. Which means their teens, who once had the place all to themselves, are cringing over the reality that the chaperones have arrived. In droves. As the younger users are trying to figure out the etiquette of whether or not they have to accept friend requests from Mom, Dad, Uncle Beryl, and even Grandma, parents are in great need of a few etiquette tips themselves. Here are ten tips that seem to be at the top of most teens’ wish lists. And yes, some of the tips (okay, a lot of them), I’ve learned the hard way…if you know what I mean.

Do not post reminders on your child’s wall. This includes, but is not limited to: Reminders to wear their retainer at night, take the recycle bin out to the curb, or to remember their upcoming dermatologist appointment. In fact, just to be safe don’t post anything on your child’s wall except for perhaps, birthday wishes. And even that’s debatable. A simple “Happy Birthday” will suffice. Do not use terms of endearment in the greeting and do not send a Facebook gift. This includes the stuffed bear wearing an “I love Mom” t-shirt. (Sorry, Ryan.)

Do not comment on pictures of your child that are posted (tagged) by their friends. This includes, but is not limited to: Compliments about your daughter’s hair, gentle suggestions that your daughter may need to wear a bit more lip gloss, or a simple “Yikes” said in reference to one of your daughter’s friends showing a bit too much cleavage. (Guilty!) These types of comments should fall into the private message category. Never forget that comments on pictures can be viewed by everyone on your daughter’s friend list, including the girl who is showing a bit too much cleavage.

Do not post pictures of your child on his/her wall. This especially includes, but is not limited to: Scanned family photos from a decade ago or baby pictures of your son playing dress-up in his dad’s suit. Doing so could result in your son’s college roommate using the above-mentioned baby picture as his profile picture in a week-long mockery campaign. (See photo above. Sorry, Ryan.)  Also, pictures of the beloved family pet are in the no-post category, but are acceptable if sent through private message. Just because your college son talks baby talk to the 4 lb. Yorkie  when he’s home for a visit, doesn’t necessarily mean he wants a picture of the little love-muffin dressed in his Halloween Batman costume on his wall (Sorry again, Ryan.)

Do not upload footage of your child performing as a superstar in any sport or activity without first obtaining their permission. This includes footage of your son making a phenomenal one-handed catch during the homecoming football game that resulted in a run for a touchdown. We are all proud of our children, but excessive bragging (through videos, pictures, or status updates) should be doled out in moderation. Which reminds me, footage of Hayden’s amazing catch can be found by clicking on videos on my Facebook page. (NOTE: Hayden gave me the green light to post the clip in exchange for a $20 gift card to Sonic.)

Do not use status message updates as a billboard for your teen’s poor choices. Unless that is, it’s funny and then it’s okay. The end goal should not be to publicly shame your teenager, but rather, to garner empathy from fellow parents of teens. Kinda like a big, giant Facebook support group for parents. “My teen just tested my last ounce of patience. Anyone know of any good boarding schools?” sounds much better than “My punk teen just shoplifted an energy drink from a convenience store. Pray he lives to see the sun come up tomorrow.”

Mushy Facebook status messages related to your spouse should be avoided at all costs. What child wouldn’t  need intensive therapy after seeing Dad’s status message in the newsfeed: “My wife is a total hottie and I’m counting the days until our weekend get-away.” Ew, ew, ew. In fact, Dad’s entire friend list may need therapy after that one. Facebook PDA is unacceptable at any age, and even more so if you answer to the title “Mom” or “Dad.”

Never, ever, send a friend request to one of your child’s friends. It doesn’t matter if you were present at their birth, diapered their little bottoms, and count them as one of your very own. Wait for them to come to you. They may…or they may not. Even the good kids are worried about the lack of control they have over what others may say on their walls and don’t want the adults they know to think any less of them. Especially the ones they love.

Use discretion when uploading pictures of yourself. I don’t care if you are 50 years old and super proud of your six-pack abs – I promise you, your kids don’t want to see them. If you are going to play sand volleyball and there is a camera present, do the kiddos a favor and put a shirt on. If you are going to post pictures from the family beach trip, please wear a cover up. Modest is hottest. Yeah, and you might not ever want to repeat that cheesy slogan in the hearing of your kids or they’re guaranteed to pack up and run away from home. Forever.

Never say LOL. Actually, I was just made aware of this one recently after being royally chastised by one of my children for daring to say it in a comment. Not sure what is so offensive about saying LOL, but it clearly struck a nerve and I got this immediate reply: “Mom, NEVER say LOL again.” To which I promptly replied: “NP! IDK what I was thinking. TTYL!” It’s been a few weeks since I last heard from that child, but I’m pretty sure she’s been busy studying for mid-terms. LOL.

Last, but not least, never let on that you are stalking their page. Oh sure, you are going to be left with some questions from time to time or see some things that make you grumble. As long as you think they are making overall, good choices, resist the urge to correct every infraction you see. Of course, the exception to the rule is if you have reason to believe your child is headed down a dangerous path and an intervention is in order. Otherwise, pull back and give your child some wiggle room to grow up. And let’s all count our blessings that Facebook wasn’t around when we were teens!

UPDATE: Congratulations to our TEN winners! They are:

Joy Coates
Veronica  Moreno
Peggy Schmidt
Christy @ River Stone
Suzanne Altman
Melanie @ bellsouth.net
Yvonne Measer
jennibell
Cheryl Metcalf
Michelle Jones

Do you have a little princess living in your home? If so, you don’t want to miss this give-away! Author friend, Jackie Kendall and her sister-in-law, DeDe Kendall, have written a fabulous book for mothers to use in guiding their little princesses (ages 4-9) closer to the heart of the King. I have served in ministry with Jackie and DeDe for many years and let me tell you, these ladies are the real deal. In fact, I remember several years ago, when they shared their vision for this book over dinner after a mother/daughter event. It’s so exciting to see Lady in Waiting for Little Girls finally become a reality.

Here is a description of the book from Amazon.com:

Every fairy tale has a moment when the prince finally dances with the leading lady. A little girl’s devotion to God is to be that of a princess dancing with her Prince. Lady in Waiting for Little Girls is a mother-daughter mentoring book that is to be enjoyed together. Jackie Kendall, best-selling author of Lady in Waiting, and Dede Kendall have written this book specifically to prepare the hearts of young girls for a continual relationship with their heavenly Father.

We all want our girls to live”happily-ever-after” and Jackie and DeDe Kendall’s book will help introduce them to the only Prince who can deliver on that promise. In celebration of this release, Jackie and DeDe have kindly donated 10 signed copies! If you have a little princess (ages 4-9) or know a mother who would appreciate this book, leave a comment on this post with the first names of the mother and daughter(s) you have in mind. We will draw for ten winners one week from today and notify our winners by email. Good luck!

P.S. I realize that our last two give-aways have targeted moms with girls. I promise that we have not forgotten you moms with boys! Stay tuned for our next give-away and some very good news related to mothers with sons!

Tweens and teens have spoken and the verdict is in: Miley Cyrus wins the ahem, dishonor of 2009’s Worst Celebrity Influence.

According to www.UsMagazine.com:

JSYK.com (Just So You Know), AOL’s pop culture blog aimed at 9-15 year olds, recently tallied 44,594 online votes for its first, eponymous awards.

In its “Worst Celeb Influence” category, Cyrus garnered 42% of votes — easily beating out an on-the-mend Britney Spears (27%) and VMAs-spoiler Kanye West (19%). Caught in a nude photo scandal, Vanessa Hudgens charted at 9%, while Shia LeBeouf’s public intoxication scuffles snagged him 3%. (Click here to read more.)

Go ahead, on the count of three, let’s all let out a collective groan together. While the news shouldn’t come has a surprise, it is heart-breaking all the same to see how this talented young lady has “copied the behavior and customs of this world” (Romans 12:2a NLT) and as a result, is paying a heavy price. Oh, I realize that many would argue with that last statement pointing out the fact that her misdeeds have placed her in the spotlight even more, allowing her to cash in as a newly inducted member into the girls-gone-wild club. Surely, the jokes on us, right? She keeps misbehaving and we keep shelling out the bucks to reward her bad behavior. Or let me put it to you this way: A sixteen year-old pole dances on an ice cream cart while dressed like a streetwalker during her performance on the Teen Choice Awards and we gasp in disbelief while our daughters rush over to iTunes to buy “Party in the USA.”

But don’t be fooled. This “party” will eventually come to an end for Miley. Just ask Britney. And when it does, a bevy of Porshe convertibles, vacation homes, and Calvin Klein model boyfriends won’t begin to soothe her aching heart. Nor will the hit songs, movie parts, or Grammy awards lining her mantle. At some point, Miss Cyrus will have to face the sad truth that she bought into the lies of the world and traded her good name in the process. Proverbs 22:1 cautions us, “Choose a good reputation over great riches, for being held in high esteem is better than having silver or gold.”

Honestly, I feel great compassion for this young lady. She is 16 years old and has a camera pointed in her direction most of her waking hours. Of course, she’s going to make mistakes. That’s to be expected. I think what makes her more of a target for criticism is the fact that she often acknowledges her faith in Christ and thanks God for the “blessing” of her talent and success. In claiming to be a believer, she herself sets the bar higher when it comes to audience expectations regarding her actions and behavior.

The primary purpose of this post is not to trash Miley Cyrus, but rather, serve as a reminder that we are each susceptible to buying into the lies of the world. If you have a child who is a Miley-admirer, take advantage of this teachable moment, but do so with humility and grace. Our prayers should be with this talented young lady who no doubt, has to be troubled at some level by this latest title of “worst celebrity influence.” If she is in fact a believer, we can rest assured that God is gently calling attention to this area of her heart that stands in disrepair. Just as He patiently does with each of us.

Overall, I’m relieved that the survey shows tweens and teens do take notice when actions don’t match up with words. If you say you believe in God, you best behave like it. In the meantime, it might be a good idea for Miley to refrain from acknowledging her faith in the public spotlight until she is past this season of sowing her wild oats. It only leaves her audience more confused and overall, disillusioned when her behavior fails to back up her proclaimed beliefs. One of my Facebook friends (who happens to be Miley’s same age), summed it up nicely in a status message she posted yesterday:

“Isn’t it obvious that God-talk without God-acts is outrageous nonsense?” (James 2:17; The Message)

And that’s a reminder we can all use.

I logged onto Facebook earlier today only to see the photos above of my daughter and her roommate in my newsfeed. If ever I’ve wondered what she does with her free time while over 800 miles from home at college, now I know. Mercy. Never mind that she called me yesterday and was stressed out about a few upcoming tests. I’m just curious, but does it look like she’s studying to you? As you can see, my daughter (on the left) is one of those ahem, unique (good, safe word) people who feels a need to start celebrating Christmas sometime between Labor Day and Halloween. And clearly, I am one of those sane people who questions the sanity of people who start humming Christmas carols when sundresses and flip-flops are still in season. Is it really possible that I’m related to this child?

She has been posting status messages for weeks on Facebook to alert her friends to the fact that it’s ” 78 Days til Christmas….” or “Time to watch Elf!” Can we just enjoy looking forward to some turkey and dressing before we enter the chaotic Christmas fray? For heaven’s sake, we haven’t even handed out the Halloween candy to the trick-or-treaters yet. In her defense, I thought maybe this was her Halloween costume, but then I stumbled upon the pictures below where she and her roommate, Michelle (on the right) decided on a whim to decorate their roommate, Dori’s room for Christmas while she was in class one day. My guess is that maybe Dori wasn’t showing a proper amount of Christmas spirit and therefore was being punished for behaving in a scrooge-like manner. In other words, maybe Dori is NORMAL.

She may not be studying for those tests, but at least she gets an A+ for being a happy child. Paige, if you’re reading this, it’s time to take off your elf hat, pour yourself a mug of eggnog, and hit the books, sister. Remember, he sees you when you’re sleeping…he knows when you’re awake…he knows if you’ve been goofing off…so you better pass, for goodness sake.

Take One                             Take Two                      A pep talk from Mom

UPDATE: We have winners! Congratulations to:

1. Beth
firecrackermommy@gmail.com
2. Krisi
krisimelynn@yahoo.com

Well, it’s that time of year again where I prove to the Internet world just how much free time I have. I attempted to justify this Halloween photo shoot to my husband as a way to connect with my tween readership, but just between you and me, I would have done it anyway. Even so, I think he’s a bit worried about me.

So, ahem, this is for your daughters. And since we don’t believe in handing out tricks on Halloween, we have a treat for you. Lexie and Scout want to know what your daughter will be dressing up as for Halloween. Reply back and let them know and they’ll draw two winners on Monday morning. Each winner will receive a signed copy of Between or TeenVirtue, their choice. Who knows, maybe even Scout and Lexie will sign it!

Acts Chapter 16 recounts when Paul and Timothy visited Philippi while on a missionary journey. The Scripture tells us that they went to the city gates anticipating that they would find people there praying. When they arrived, they found a group of women gathered. One of these women was Lydia, whose deep faith in Christ began that day.

It was logical that Paul and Timothy would have gone to the city gates to meet people with whom they could share the news of Jesus Christ. In biblical times, the city gates were a place of gathering and business. It was a place where the powerful could be found and where decisions were made. It was to this place of power, decision, and gathering that Paul and Timothy brought the news of Christ that day. They found a group of women-and at least one of those women was radically transformed.

Today’s city gates have expanded and enable us to connect all around the world. Just as Paul and Timothy sought to bring the power of Christ to the place where people were gathered, so do we. It is our prayer that in this space on the internet, the power of Christ will be manifest in the prayers of women from around the world.

I am honored to recommend a new site to you called PrayerGates.com. I am not the creator of the site, but was recently invited to write a devotional for the site’s launch. I love the purpose behind the site and the vision to offer an online gathering place for women to create and/or join prayer communities.  If you get a chance, stop by and take a look around. While you’re there, be sure to check out my devotional called, “Court is in Session.”

In the devotional, I talk about the need to invite God to “examine our hearts” in an effort to judge our motives and affections (Psalm 26:2). As I have put this habit into “active practice” over the last several months, God has lovingly called attention to some areas of my heart that are in much need of improvement. The process of addressing His findings has been painful at times, but to continue on a path of ignorance would be far more devastating in the long run.

Though I’ve taught and written on God’s amazing grace for many years, I am gaining an even deeper understanding of this gift as I open my heart up to God and invite Him to “take a look around.” Our hearts should be in a constant state of renovation. Fortunately, He’s not the least bit intimidated by the barricades and “Under Construction” signs along the way. (Click here to visit PrayerGates.com).

This Saturday, I have a date with Donny Osmond. He insisted I pay my way, and I’m totally fine with that. I’m told his sister will be joining us, which is also cool. What’s her name, again? I just so happen to have a You & Your Girl event this weekend in Las Vegas and a couple of the breakout teachers will be joining me on Saturday evening for my big date with Donny. I guess you could call it a “group date,” of sorts. Or perhaps, “groupie date” would be more accurate.

Believe it or not, this will be my first time to visit Las Vegas. I’ve flown through Las Vegas on a few occasions, but have yet to venture past the airport. I’m looking forward to meeting the moms and their sweet daughters at the event on Saturday, and then of course, capping off the day by seeing Donny that evening. Donny doesn’t know I’m coming by with my friends, so shhhh, it’s kind of a surprise.

We had a rough break-up back in the early 70’s when I got a new beau — David Cassidy. Donny took it pretty hard at the time, but I’m hoping there are no hard feelings after all these years. Time has a way of healing things, ya know? I never expected to fall for David, but when he looked right at me and sang “I Think I Love You” on that episode of the Partridge Family, I was hooked. Donny’s sexy purple socks just couldn’t stand the test of time up next to David’s melt-my-heart, brown shaggy do.

So here’s to hoping that Donny will let bygones be bygones and call me up on stage this Saturday to serenade me in celebration of our reunion. Let’s just hope he won’t be singing, “Go Away Little Girl.”

“It’s ten p.m. Do you know where your child is?” You might remember hearing this public service announcement that used to air before the local news back in the 1970’s-80’s. The jist of the PSA was to encourage parents to watch over their children and stay engaged in their whereabouts. Some three-plus decades later, the challenge to watch over our children seems insurmountable with the onset of technology. This sobering reality has hit me hard this past few weeks with a couple of wake up calls regarding kids and cell phones with web access.

The first alarm sounded when a dear friend of mine who serves on staff at a private Christian school in Florida shared that a large group of their 3rd grade boys were caught surfing a popular online portal of homemade p*rn during school hours. Stop for a minute and think about that. Eight and nine year-old boys passing around a cell phone or iTouch to each other at the lunch table or on the school bus and getting their first exposure to s*x in the vilest form possible. How will they even begin to process what they have seen and reconcile it with God’s intended purpose for sex? The damage is done and nothing can erase the imagery that has been etched into their minds forever.

The second alarm sounded a couple of weeks ago when an email was sent out to the parents of student athletes at my son’s private Christian school. The Athletic Director wanted to inform parents that some of the athletes had been caught viewing p*rn on their phones (and passing it around) while on the bus ride over to the off-campus athletic fields. He implored parents to sit their sons down and talk about the long-term effects of viewing p*rn. He also went a step further and asked parents to consider disabling web access from their sons’ phones.

I can hear you sighing right now. I’m right there with you. I have been mulling over this post for a couple of weeks now. I don’t particularly like addressing this topic on my blog because when I have done so in the past, it brings out some real shady creepers who land here after a google search for p*rn, particularly p*rn that involves young b*ys. I know that because I get a report which tracks key search words that lead folks to this blog. Which is why I am attempting to code some key words in this post in the hope that the online creepers won’t land here and thus, leave me in a grumpy and fowl mood for days to come.

I also do not care to turn this post into a debate forum with those who embrace a more liberal parenting philosophy and have chosen to turn a blind eye to what their kids are accessing on their phones are computers in the name of “personal freedom.” If you’ve read any of my books, you know I have zero respect for those who embrace buddy-buddy parenting tactics and shower their kids with unlimited gadgets and carte-blanche privileges that come with no boundaries. The truth is, your kids are likely the ones passing around this p*rn filth during school hours. So, please refrain from submitting comments to the effect of “kids will be kids” and “they’re going to find a way to view it, so it’s a losing battle, blah, blah, blah.” That may very well be the case, but do you have to be their accomplice?

I am choosing to post on this topic because I am certain here are some caring, concerned parents out there who A) don’t realize the magnitude of the problem and B) don’t know enough about technology to know if their child even has web access on their phone, iTouch, Nintendo DS, etc… In fact, after getting the two wake-up calls above, I realized that I had overlooked the fact that my own 16 year-old son has an iTouch with the ability to connect to the web via any available wireless connection. He does not have web access on his actual phone because his father and I do not feel it is necessary. Frankly, I don’t understand the need for children to have iPhones and Blackberrys loaded with data packages that include web access. Why even open up that Pandora’s box? Unless they’re running a business out of the garage and fielding offers from venture capitalist firms, why would they need it?  They wont’ die if they have to wait to check Facebook and movie times on the home computer.

All that to say, my husband and I sat our boy down last week and discussed the email that went out from the Athletic Director.  Hayden has a car and drives himself to practice, so we knew he wasn’t on the bus ride in question. However, I don’t want to be the naive parent who assumes her little angel wouldn’t be tempted to view p*rn, so I used this unfortunate incident as yet another, teachable moment. In fact, the way we have addressed this topic with both Hayden and his older brother is by matter-of-factly acknowledging that it is highly likely they have been exposed to p*rn on some level (a sad truth) and as a reminder, here is why you should not give into the temptation when it comes your way.

We then took some time to remind him about God’s purpose for s*x and the fallout that can occur when it is taken out of the context God intended. We also discussed the objectification of women that is prevalent in culture today and reminded him that God never intended for women to be viewed as mere objects. At that point, we expressed our concern with him having access to the web on his iTouch (albeit, limited access) and the easy accessibility it provides for times when he experiences the temptation to view p*rn. Since he’s 16 and less than two years shy of heading out the door to college, I was torn about whether we should require that Internet browser be removed from his phone, but was relieved when he suggested that we remove it after our conversation. (Instructions can be found below.)

My husband has also encouraged Hayden to meet one-on-one with a trusted Christian friend for spiritual encouragement and accountability and suggested that they specifically check in with each other regarding this particular temptation. Last Wednesday night, Hayden left a little early for his Deep End Bible study group that meets at our local church to meet his good friend, Tanner, at a Christian book store. He later came home with a book they found (on their own!) called Men of the Bible (part of the One Year Bible line). It contains “365 meditations on the character of men and their connection to the living God.” He and Tanner are going to go through the devotional together and meet one-on-one each Saturday. My son is NOT perfect, but I am so proud of him for taking steps to keep his heart in check.

It’s time to start talking to our boys about the fallout associated with viewing p*rn. We can’t afford to bury our heads in the sand and assume our boys would never cave into the temptation. Rare is the boy who won’t cave in, especially when they can gain such easy and instantaneous access. Even if we block access from our their gadgets, there is always going to be someone in their peer group/class/ball team that has a phone with all the bells and whistles. This is why we have to be diligent and helping them connect the dots between their actions and the long-time consequences associated with those actions. I would even go a step further and help them come up with a possible script of what to say when they are invited to look at p*rn on a friend’s phone. Remember, it’s not a matter of “if,” but “when.”

Finally, we have to do our part to draw boundaries in an effort to protect our children. We can’t sit back and wait for cell phone providers to take the initiative to protect our children — it’s OUR job to protect them. In a nutshell, here are our options when it comes to cell phones and web access:

1) Web access is an option on most phones and many cell phone providers even charge an extra monthly fee to access the web. My 21 year-old son does not feel it’s important enough to spend money on this feature and if he can live without it, I imagine your 12 year-old can too! If your child currently has web access as part of the data package you are paying for, consider calling your provider and having it removed. Another feature that is commonly included in many texting packages are unlimited pictures and videos. We had our provider block pictures and videos a couple of years back on our youngest son’s phone, even though they could be sent free of charge as part of the package. It was one less thing to worry about at the time. Now that he’s older, we have reinstated the feature, but do occasional spot checks to ensure he is using it responsibly.

2) If your child has an iTouch, check out this article. Pay careful attention to the information about HidePod (on page 2). It’s a free app that masquerades as a calculator but is actually a hidden vault for p*rn clips.  There is a link to the site where you can enter the serial number of your child’s device to see if they have downloaded the app. Also, I found this article very helpful on how to activate parental controls on the iTouch/iPhone and block access to YouTube, Google searches, or the web in general.

3) Spot check your child’s phone on occasion. You pay for it and you have the right and responsibility to do so. I have little patience for parents who argue that children have a right to privacy in regard to what they send and receive through their phones and online. One mother recently emailed me and shared that she resisted checking her 14 year-old daughter’s phone out of “respect for her privacy,” but noticed that her daughter was beginning to act out and exhibit some changes in behavior. Upon spot-checking her daughter’s phone, she discovered that her daughter had been sending semi-nude pics to her “boyfriend” at his request. She is grateful that she caught it when she did, but wishes she had checked much sooner. Sometimes as parents, we must protect our children from themselves.

4) Last but not least, PRAY for your children. They are growing up in challenging times. We must do our part to help them “protect and guard their hearts” (Prov. 4:23). Our role as parents is to prepare them to self-monitor their actions, so they can ultimately guard their hearts when they are outside our umbrella of protection. In other words, we can teach them God’s truths, draw appropriate boundaries, and educate them to dangers that exist, but ultimately, it will be up to them to place that hedge of protection around their hearts.

If you happen to live anywhere near The Woodlands, Texas, I will be presenting my “Logged On and Tuned Out” seminar for parents at The Woodlands United Methodist Church on Tuesday evening, October 13th. You can click here for more information.

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