May 19, 12
It’s hard to believe six months have gone by! So many of you have celebrated with me in the birth of my first grandson, so I thought I’d share this video scrapbook of our little guy who is officially six months old today. He has been such a blessing to us all!
May 17, 12
A couple of days ago, my youngest son returned home after completing his first year at The University of Texas. Even though he attended college in town, we had very few moments where our whole family could be together, barring a couple of holidays. Last night, was one of those moments. Hayden is only home for about a week and then will head to Arkansas where he will be a camp counselor at Camp Ozark for the first part of the summer. Yay! And ugh, for Mom who misses having her boy sleeping in his bedroom just down the hall. That said, Keith and I invited the whole clan over last night for dinner to welcome Hayden home and visit with him before he heads out the door again.
During dinner, Hayden announced that he had taught himself how to do a standing back flip and the next thing you know, the whole family is out in the front yard for an impromptu tumbleathon. Paige (my daughter) and Casey (my daughter-in-law) are past cheerleaders, so they couldn’t resist joining in. My husband, Keith, is in the background in a hammock Hayden hung across our front porch within the first few hours of being home. And me, I just filmed the fun while choking back a few tears at the mere sight of my crazy, goofy family tumbling down the lawn. Like when they were little. And we all lived under the same roof together. Wait, wasn’t that just yesterday?
Enjoy the time. Every minute of it because it goes by in a blink. 
May 7, 12
I was thumbing through one of my vintage copies of Seventeen magazine (April, 1946) and stumbled upon some interesting advice for our teen girls…just in time for prom season! Get ready to laugh!
Let’s begin with the cover. I have questions, people. Like, what in the world is that creepy horse prop she’s sitting on? Does this depict the average prom pic from the 1940′s? And I thought the white trellis draped with fake ivy in my 1980′s prom pic was bad!
Given that I thought a “stag” was a male deer up until this moment, I might have to agree with this advice.
Is it just me, or does that rhyme sound a bit forced? Reading it kinda makes me want to turn away my face. But in all fairness, let’s give props to Little Bo-Peep for keeping it modest.
What? They had girl drama in the 1940′s? Who knew?! I’m bettin’ they’re talking about the girl above who re-purposed her kindergarten dance recital costume into a prom dress, bonnet, and matching purse.
Good advice. You certainly wouldn’t want to give off the impression you’re having FUN at the prom!
Definitely warn your daughter that should she seize the mic for a little karaoke talent show, it will probably be followed with a breathalyzer.
Wow, that stag in the brown suit and green bow tie gets around. This is the third girl he’s tried to hit on in the same night. But yes, I do believe we need to find a dozen or so chaperones that look like this one to stand patrol at our 2012 proms. Even more intimidating if we equip them with stun guns to take care of that little grinding problem.
I beg to differ. I’m betting it did give him a rush. Not to mention, he probably had some ‘splainin to do when his mama stumbled upon the shirt in the wash pile in the days that followed.
Wait, is that the same stag in the brown suit again? Because I’m thinking this guy can’t afford to be picky at this point. He’s 0-3, for heaven’s sake. Go for the smart girl! And as warped as this message is to our girls, I do agree that bringing your textbooks to the prom and taking a study break during the hokey pokey could be a deterrence to getting asked to the prom in the future.
May 1, 12
A couple of weeks ago, I saw several articles in the news reporting the results of a parliamentary study in the UK that should serve as a wake-up call to parents in the U.S. When it comes to the number of children and teens viewing pornography, we’re not far behind our friends in the UK, so we’d be wise to consider their findings. Consider the following statistics:
- Four out of five 16-year-old boys and girls regularly access porn online.
- One in three ten-year-olds have seen explicit material.
- More than a quarter of young patients being treated at a leading private clinic are receiving help for a porn addiction.
Dr. Mary Anne Layden, the co-director of the Sexual Trauma and Psychopathology Program at the University of Pennsylvania’s Center for Cognitive Therapy testified to the Senate in 2004 and called porn, the “most concerning thing to psychological health that I know of existing today.” She states, “The internet is a perfect drug delivery system because you are anonymous, aroused and have role models for these behaviors,” Layden said. “To have drug pumped into your house 24/7, free, and children know how to use it better than grown-ups know how to use it — it’s a perfect delivery system if we want to have a whole generation of young addicts who will never have the drug out of their mind.” If that statement alone doesn’t motivate us to take action, I’m not sure what will.
I like to offer solutions when I tackle a difficult post like this, so here are three steps you can take right now to be more proactive when it comes to protecting your sons:
- Put safety filters on your home computers and deactivate the web browser on your children’s handheld devices. If you feel your child is old enough to access the web on the home computer, add monitoring software to spot-check their web activity. If they are accessing the web on handheld devices, make it a practice to spot-check their devices from time to time. The rule of thumb in our home was: If I don’t have the time to monitor the device, it’s not a good time for my child to have it. It’s important that we let your children know that our ultimate goal is to protect them from 1) outside influences that can have long-term results and 2) themselves. We all make mistakes and our children are no different.
- Help your children come up with an escape plan. It’s not a matter of “if,” but “when” your children will be exposed to pornography, whether they stumble upon it with an accidental click, seek it out on their own, or are introduced to it by someone they know. Help them come up with what they might say if they are at a friend’s house or in a situation where they unexpectedly find themselves on the receiving end of peer pressure. Encourage them to let you know when this happens and assure them that this is a welcome topic in your home.
- Educate your children about the long-term effects of viewing pornography. I give an overview of the damaging effects in 5 Conversations You Must Have With Your Son as well as introduce a helpful tool to encourage self control: STP (Stop, Think, Pray). If your son is ten or older, it’s time to brush up on Conversation #2 and present the truths in a way that will respect his age and level of understanding. If your son is under 10 but has been exposed to a more worldly environment (younger child in family, attends public school, plays on rec/sports teams with older boys, etc.), you may need to begin this conversation sooner.
- Put it on your calendar to talk about this topic at least once every two months. The information presented is more likely to be absorbed by your child with repetition. You can assign this task to one parent or share in the responsibility. In my home, I had the majority of the conversations related to this topic, since I spent more time with the children during the day. However, my husband was also vigilant in taking our sons through the book, “Preparing Your Son for Every Man’s Battle” and encouraging them to meet with an accountability partner (which both my sons do), who will ask them some tough questions (and vice-versa).
For bonus points, if you have a son, I highly recommend parents read the book, Wired for Intimacy: How Pornography Hijacks the Male Brain by William Struthers. I quoted this book extensively in 5 Conversations. While my book will help you begin (and continue) this necessary conversation, Struther’s book will give you a thorough understanding of what is taking place chemically in the brain when pornography is viewed. We owe it to our sons to pass along this information, less they become enslaved to this sin for the remainder of their lives. (2 Peter 2:19b)
Apr 23, 12
A few weeks ago, I spent a weekend cleaning out my master closet. In the process, I stumbled upon some vintage t-shirts and oh boy, do they tell a story about a few previous chapters in my life. They span 15 years, from 1982 (my freshman year of college at the University of Texas) to 1998 (the year I answered the call to ministry). I have no idea why I saved them, but it was fun to lay them out and look at the 15 year timeline. The one above is from the Fiji Christmas party in 1982. I dated a Fiji off and on during my college years, so I racked up quite a few Fiji shirts from parties. (As a side-note, if you have a college-aged daughter, you might want to tell her to steer clear of the “Fiji punch.”)
Well, this one is embarrassing. My roommate and I scored this shirt on the beach over Spring Break of ’83 and we were so proud. Not a part of my past I’m particularly proud of, but hey, it is what it is. Such is the story for many of us who didn’t come to faith in Christ before our high school/college years. Actually, such is also the story for many who did. As a note of trivia, the legal drinking age in Texas in 1982 was 19 (It was raised to 21 in 1986), so most of the beach revelers were drinking legally at the time. Scary times…
I’m fairly certain this shirt is worth some money. It is from a Fiji election returns party in 1984. Ronald Reagan (the endorsed candidate on the shirt) won a second term by a landslide vote against Walter Mondale. This was also my first time to vote in a presidential election.
Fast forward to my honeymoon in 1987. (Unfortunately, I was unable to find the t-shirt from the college event where I became a Christian in 1985!) Anyway, I bought this swimsuit cover-up in Ixtapa Mexico as a young newlywed (age 23). Ironically, one month from today, my husband and I will celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary on a white sand beach (not Ixtapa! Mexico is a bit scary right now.). Call it corny, but I may wear this cover-up one day on the beach. Hmmmm, I may need to add a couple of inches of fabric to the bottom hem, ya think?
Enter the new mommy years. This was a gift for my first-ever Mother’s Day in 1989 when my oldest son, Ryan was 11 months old. I proudly wore this paint-spattered sweatshirt for many years.
Ah yes, the MOPS years. I loved being a part of Mothers of Preschoolers. I recently had the opportunity to speak to the MOPS group at the very same church where I had been a part of MOPS. It was surreal to think I had dropped off my own little Mopettes in the same church nursery. Seriously folks, it goes by in a blink.
Another gift for Mother’s Day, perhaps? Actually, my children turned out quite a bit more attractive than the characters on this sweatshirt.
And boy, did they play. You name a sport and my kids played it. This is one of the things my husband and I miss the most in our empty-nest years. Keith and I were actually counting the years last weekend until we can sit in the bleachers and watch little Walker play t-ball. Although, we are admittedly not huge t-ball fans (add to this list Peewee Soccer and Kinder-hoops). We found it very difficult to sit through pre-school sports where there were very few rules in play and no one kept score. We were far too competitive for that nonsense. As were our children!
And last but not least, a vintage shirt from my first-ever college event in 1998. This event was the springboard for the ministry I have today. What began as one event in ’98 for college women morphed into 10-12 events for mothers and young women of all ages by 2002. I still pinch myself over the fact that God allows me any part of His kingdom purposes. If someone had shown that 19 year-old version of myself who was on the beach proudly wearing the University of Budweiser t-shirt the shirt above and told me I would be in the ministry, I would not have believed it. Our God is good. Please remember my story if you happen to have a child who does not know Christ or has strayed from God’s path.
Do you have any vintage t-shirts in your collection that tell a story? Tell us about one!
Apr 11, 12
Well, I was all set to post the above clip of my sweet baby finches taken this past weekend to update you on their progress. (If you have no idea what I’m talking about, you can read about my front door bird nest in this post, here.) It really has been amazing to watch the mom and dad care for the baby birds over the past couple of weeks. They were about a week shy of taking some sample flights from the nest and I was hoping to capture some footage of mom and dad giving their babies their first flight lessons in the days to come.
Notice, I am writing in past tense. Not a good sign. I am sad to report that the babies are gone. I headed out to my lake house this morning to clean it up a bit and get it ready for company this weekend. I was anxious to check on the baby finches and get some new pictures of them and post them with the clip above. When I pulled into the driveway and approached the front door, I did so with caution, so I wouldn’t startle the mama bird if she was sitting on the nest. Only, the mama bird was not on the nest this morning. To my absolute horror, sitting in her place atop the nest, was this (look upper right):
A snake! I seriously wanted to cry. Oh wait, I DID cry — I sobbed my eyes out for a good 15 minutes straight. In the safety of my car. Finally, I pulled myself together and gathered the courage to go through the front door (only way into the house, folks) and here is a close up picture I got from inside the house:
Is that not absolutely horrifying? Should I just put the house on the market and call it a day?! I tapped on the glass for a few minutes to see if the snake would budge, but to no avail. Besides, I wasn’t really sure I wanted the snake to slither away and relocate itself somewhere else on my property. I decided to let myself out the BACK DOOR, and head down the street to find a brave neighbor who might be willing to help me out. Don, (my new favorite neighbor) to the rescue.
Unfortunately, it was too late for the baby birds. I’m choosing to believe they made an early exit when their unwelcome guest stopped by unannounced. (Look, I do denial well, so please don’t ruin this for me.) Anyway, it’s been a hard day. I was so excited about those baby birds. And I’m trying not to think about the fact that a snake was literally, right outside my front door. Or shall I say, ON MY FRONT DOOR. I won’t tell you how the rest of the story played out, but suffice it to say, this particular snake won’t be back. (And if you’re thinking that is unnecessarily cruel, please withhold your comments. I don’t really care that they eat mice and insects and blah, blah, blah. They also eat baby birds. And did I mention it was on my FRONT DOOR?)
So, the moral of this story? There are two: 1) Sometimes, life stinks. And 2) I hate snakes. I did however, clean up my front door (birds are messy, y’all!) and replaced the old wreath with a new one I had ordered off Etsy a couple of weeks ago. New beginnings are good. And should the finches return to rebuild their nest on this wreath, I have already been doing some research on how to snake-proof the next nest. It’s amazing what comes up when you google “snake got my baby birds.” I’m certainly open to your suggestions, if you’ve had a similar problem.
Sorry for the downer of a blog post, but this is reality, folks. There was no way to sugar-coat this day. I’m sure you’ve had days like this, no? Sans the snake, hopefully.
Apr 9, 12
You know that feeling you get when you feel totally overwhelmed, but in a good way? That’s how I felt yesterday. First, the Easter service at my church about did me in. Several times during the time of worship, I was brought to tears at the mere thought of the resurrection power of the cross. Thank you, Jesus.
After church, my whole clan came over for lunch. I set the alarm for 4:45 am on Sunday morning to put a roast in the crock pot, which if you know me, is pushing the limits of my culinary skills. Each “family” brought a side-dish, including Hayden, (our college boy) who contributed the rolls, because well, that’s about all a college boy can handle. We hadn’t had a recent family picture, so I recruited my neighbor to come over and snap a few pictures while I had the whole clan in one place. Then we ate. We laughed. Some watched sports. Some napped. It was a perfect day. My heart feels like it could burst wide open when I look at the pictures of my family members above. God has blessed me with the family I always dreamed of having. We are not perfect, but we are perfectly forgiven. Yet another blessing of the resurrection power of the cross.
As we close the door on Easter 2012, I pray I will continue to be overwhelmed by the resurrection power of the cross in the days to follow. True gratitude begins with remembering what He has done — not just Easter weekend, but each and every day, year-round.
Mar 31, 12
In my last post, I mentioned that I had stumbled upon a nest in my wreath hanging on my lake house front door. Upon further inspection, there were eggs inside the nest! I am happy to report that today, that nest is a make-shift maternity ward. When we arrived yesterday, the eggs had hatched! How cool is that?! And for the record, I cannot tell you how long I stood on a chair waiting for the priceless picture above where four of the baby birds had their beaks wide open. I was just hoping to catch one with its mouth open!
Today, while working on my computer just inside the doorway, I witnessed the father visit the nest and feed the birds! He appears to be a house finch. The mother followed shortly thereafter, but alas, they were unwilling to cooperate and pose for a family portrait. Off they go when they see the slightest movement within the house. I read online that the baby birds will only remain in the nest for 2-3 weeks, which means the mama will completely bypass the teenage years. Sweet deal, if you ask me!
This evening on the way home from dinner, Keith and I drove around in the hill country and took pictures of the wildflowers lining the roadside.
The red flowers are Indian Paintbrushes. Here is a close-up of one:
I cannot remember when the Bluebonnets were this beautiful. They are stunning this year.
Truly, this has been a weekend where God’s creation has been on glorious display. I absolutely love spring. Have a great rest of the weekend!
Mar 27, 12
Weekend before last, we headed to our lake house and were greeted with these lovely reminders of spring. The bluebonnets (the state flower of Texas) are in full bloom and absolutely gorgeous this year. After a record-breaking drought last year, it was nice to see signs of new life springing up around us.
When we arrived at the house, a bird attempted to dive-bomb my head a couple of times when I would walk through the front door. I solved the mystery when I discovered her temporary home on the top of my front door wreath. Can you spot her sitting in the nest?
How cool is this? I can’t wait to see if they’ve hatched when we head back up this weekend. I’ll be sure to report back with pictures!
And how about this reminder of new life? This little guy has captured every single part of my heart.
…and the hearts of a few others, as well. (Pictured: My husband, Keith, aka: Pop, and his parents, aka: Memaw and Poppy)
For the record, Walker wasn’t the only one enjoying our new boat dock. Please don’t judge me for the puppy life jacket. Safety first, folks.
We’ve made many memories at our lake house, but this particular weekend was extra special. We were celebrating my husband’s 50th birthday! The guys played ball in the front yard while their front porch fan club cheered them on. We were with our long-time friends, the Dixons and the Andrews. I’ve mentioned them before, but we’ve been friends since our kids were in the church nursery. We are dominated by boys in the family and all of them played competitive sports (as did their fathers). All that to say, the games can get a bit out of hand at times.
Ryan and Casey were the first among our crew to have a baby, but the Andrews’ son, Dustin and daughter-in-law, Nicole are expecting a baby in early August. A few days ago, they learned they are having a BOY! Dustin’s mom, Barbara calls our generation of parents the “G-1′s,” our kids, the “G-2′s”, and this new crop of babies to follow, the “G-3′s.” If the trend c0ntinues, it looks like the G-3′s will be stacked with boys…providing even more testosterone to fuel the front yard sporting events.
Later in the day, I surprised Keith with a real-live softball match with friends and family. Camp Buckner is a few minutes from our house and the staff kindly allowed us to use their softball field for the occasion. Paige and Casey made shirts for two teams: The Seniors and The Juniors. (We were one shirt short for the Juniors, so improvised for the team photo!) We couldn’t have asked for a more beautiful day to celebrate Keith’s birthday.
When we returned home, this was waiting for Keith in our mailbox: An AARP membership card application! First, he becomes a grandpa, and now this! Don’t let the membership card fool you, folks. This handsome “youngster” held his own in that softball game and the many front yard sporting events to follow.
Happy, happy spring and happy birthday to my very best friend.
Hey, blog friends. I received the following question from a concerned mother related to the popular book trilogy and movie (releases tonight), The Hunger Games:
I wanted to get your opinion on The Hunger Games. My daughter is feeling peer pressure because many of her 6th grade friends are going to see it. They are teasing her because her father & I feel it is not appropriate. Several schools in our area are taking their 7th & 8th graders to see it on a field trip. So far this is a NO for us looking for a YES this weekend to replace it.
I thought I would toss it up on the blog and let you weigh in on the topic. Honestly, I’m not familiar enough with the books and don’t feel qualified to answer her question. However, both my oldest children (ages 23 and 21) have read the books and will be seeing the movie this evening. It’s pretty much all they talk about lately, so suffice it to say, they are huge fans. I realize this is a pretty big topic right now and noticed that FoxNews.com is featuring an article on their homepage entitled, “Parent’s wrestle with whether or not to let young kids see hunger games.” Click here to read the article.
As parents, it’s so hard to figure out the Colossians 3:21 balance when it comes to parenting. If you’re not familiar with the verse, it says:
“Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.”
I’ve written at length on the challenge parents face in being “protectors” of their children without becoming “provokers.” In fact, when I took a closer look at the original Greek words for “provoke” and “discouraged,” I found the meaning of “provoke” is “to stir up” and the meaning of “discouraged” is “to be disheartened or broken in spirit.” In my 5 Conversations books, I wrote that parents who say “no” to too much, run the risk of leaving their child “broken in spirit.” But on the flip-side, we are also called to protect our children from harmful influences. That said, is this a battle worth fighting?
If you have kids and are familiar with The Hunger Games, weigh in and let us know what your opinion is on the matter. Are you allowing your children to see the movie and/or read the books and if so, what are their ages? If your children are wanting to see the movie and/or read the books and you are not allowing it, how are you handling it in your home? (Oh, and this goes without saying, but let’s play nice and respect the different parenting perspectives that will be offered on this topic. Thanks, in advance!)
