Mar 2, 10
In celebration of Texas Independence Day (March 2, 1836), I thought I would re-post this archived tribute to Texans near and far. Happy Birthday, Texas!
A true Texan knows:
1. That “y’all” and “fixin’ to” are a legitimate part of the English vocabulary. If you don’t say these phrases on a regular and consistent basis, we know right away that you aren’t from our neck of the woods. Oh, and “neck of the woods” – you have to say that too.
2. Chicken Fried Steak is a required part of every Texan’s diet. Extra credit for mash potatoes, corn on the cob, and fried okra. And for the record, it’s not chicken fried steak unless it’s smothered in white cream gravy. I’ve heard rumors about restaurants in other states putting brown gravy on a fried chicken cutlet and trying to pass it off as chicken fried steak on the menu. That should be a crime, punishable by imprisonment or at least a few days of picking up trash along the roadside.
3. Animals were made for eating. Get ready for the hate mail. I don’t mean to offend anyone here, but you can count the Vegetarians in our state on one hand. We like our crispy bacon and our backyard burgers. And while we’re on the subject, BBQ is not really BBQ unless it’s made from BEEF! What’s up with that faux pork BBQ stuff in AL, TN, and GA?
4. Humidity = Hair spray. Enough said. If you want to know which brand works best, ask any female from Houston. Trust me, these gals know their hair products. Should one of those Texas-sized tornadoes blow through town, they might lose their homes, but God love ‘em, their shellacked hair helmets will remain right smack in place, not a hair out of place.
5. You can do serious jail time for picking bluebonnets (our state flower). Okay, not really, but we continue to pass along this tall Texas tale to our children and grandchildren in order to scare them half out of their wits, so they’ll leave these beauties untouched on the side of the road.
6. There is no such thing as “authentic Mexican food.” I’m guessing that some health freak in California probably coined the phrase. And while we’re at it, I think it’s high time we admit that Texas does Mexican food better than…Mexico. It’s a proud statement, I know, but it needed to be said. Cheese enchiladas in Texas, by law, must be topped with chili con carne, cheese, onions, and sitting in a pool of grease in order to qualify for Tex-Mex. Restaurants fixing them any other way in this state won’t be in business for long. And Queso is not the same thing as “cheese dip.” If made right, you will dream about this golden treasure on a regular basis. (For the record, my college kids who attend Auburn insist we hit a Tex-Mex restaurant the minute their plane touches down in Austin. Doing without Tex-Mex has been one of their most difficult adjustments since moving out of state.)
7. The weather is as unpredictable as a quirky middle school romance. It can be below freezing in the morning and in the 80’s by mid-afternoon. Oh, and when it freezes over every decade or so, everything shuts down because we don’t know what to do. Those who venture out usually end up on the evening news standing next to their banged-up car in a ditch with their heads bowed in shame.
8. There is only one “UT.” Wait, you didn’t know there’s another college out there claiming to be UT with some skewed shade of orange and white? (Cough, cough, Tennessee) I myself didn’t discover this fact until I traveled to Nashville for the first time in 1999 and saw the UT logo on shirts in the airport. I made a comment to my friend picking me up that it was “very cool that people as far away as Tennessee were following the Horns.” Yep, true story.
9. There is no such thing as a stranger. We are the “friendly state” and with that honor comes the responsibility of smiling, waving, or saying “hi” (or a combination of all three) to passers-by. If you don’t respond to our kind gesture, we automatically assume you are: A) hard of seeing and hearing or B) from New York.
10. We are proud, but not prideful. Big difference. We simply take great pride in being from Texas and can’t imagine living anywhere else. Whoops, did that sound prideful?
If you’re from Texas, comment back with your favorite place to get good Tex-Mex, BEEF BBQ, or Chicken Fried Steak! Don’t forget to include the city, so those visiting from out-of-state know where to find good Texas cuisine.
Here are a few of my favorite stops (in my neck of the woods near Austin or our lake house):
Tex-Mex: El Arroyo (Austin); Tamale King (Lake Buchanan)
Chicken Fried Steak: Blue Bonnet Cafe (Marble Falls); Texas Roadhouse (every major city in Texas)
Beef BBQ: County Line (Austin); Spykes Bar B Que (Kingsland)
Attention moms and dads: If you are looking for a way to encourage your daughter to pursue a career in the professional escort industry someday, I have just the “toy” for you! Consider buying her this delightful plastic bimborette that believe it or not, can be found on the toy aisle of a few popular chain stores. Amy, a faithful blog reader, notified me of this ahem, “toy” after her husband returned home from a shopping trip to a Target store in Northeast Dallas with their 5 year-old daughter. Dad and daughter were shopping the toy aisle when they stumbled upon little-miss-I-forgot-my-undergarments staring right back at them. She was included in a line of other dolls made by the same popular toy manufacturer, whose name will go unmentioned. But it starts with an “M” and ends with an “L.” The popular line of dolls begins with a “B” and ends with an “ie.” And rhymes with “garbie,” as in “garbie-age.” Good luck figuring it out. 
Shocking, January 25, 2010by: R. Abel (Dallas)
I also saw this in Target and was shocked. The reason the picture of this Barbie is taken from the side is because her boobs are literally hanging out. My first thought was that it must be a joke. Why would anybody buy this for their daughter?
Wardrobe Malfunction Barbie?, January 19, 2010by: Dana D. (Tulsa)
I saw this Barbie in Target and was blown away. You can see about half of each breast coming out of the neckline of this dress, which plunges nearly to her bellybutton. I am not against Barbies for my daughter but I am considering a boycott after seeing this in the little girls’ section of a store. If your career ambition for your daughter is streetwalker, then this is a great toy for her.
Customer reviewer, “R. Abel” makes a good point about the toy being advertised from the side for a good reason. Fortunately, my faithful blog reader’s angry husband happened to snap a picture of what he and his daughter actually saw from their own eye-view on the Target toy aisle. Get ready:
Here is the product description on the box: “B***ie Basics is all about taking the fashion staple, the little black dress and customizing it to make it your own. Chris comes with her very own version of the the iconic little black dress. Add one of the accessory packs to personalize your very own B***ie doll.”
In all fairness, I should mention that the doll does come with a warning on the box. Here it is:
CHOKING HAZARD – Small parts. Not for children under 3 yrs.
Toys”R”Us, Inc. HeadquartersMain Number: 973-617-3500Email: (Click here) for a link to the form on the homepage. You will need this link to the product on the store website:http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3934587TargetMain Number: 1-800-440-0680Email: (Click here) for a direct link to the form on the homepage. You will need this link to the product on the store website:http://www.target.com/R9925-Barbie-Basics-Doll-10/dp/B002TRTNP0/
Feb 23, 10
Well, it’s not every day that it snows in Austin, Texas! Mind you, it was sunny and 73 degrees this past Sunday. It’s not quite cold enough to stick, so I thought I would snap a few pictures before it melts. I realize I am subjecting myself to all sorts of ridicule from those of you in the north in posting my little (and I do mean “little”) snowman picture. Scout wasn’t really sure what to think of Mr. Wee Little Snowman. Our photo session was abruptly cut short when he discovered his new friend’s make-shift nose was a tasty Cheeto. Yeah, the rest is history.
School let our early for my high-schooler because when this sort of thing happens in Austin, no one really knows what to do. (Translation: Sheer panic sets in!) My son arrived home, quickly located our ski gear that has been packed away for years and then proceeded to dig through the garage in search of anything that might function as a sled. Mission accomplished. Before he walked out the door with his friends, he mumbled something about heading to a hill at a nearby country club golf course. I pretended not to hear him and went right back to my snow-man building. Maybe I’ll post some pictures after he gets home. I’m sure he’ll be a snowy muddy mess. Anyway, thanks for allowing me to brag a bit about our once-every-decade snowfall in Austin!
Feb 23, 10
We receive quite a few questions related to the You & Your Girl event, so I thought I would do a post addressing some of the FAQ’s. I’ve been doing this event for several years now and call me biased, but it just keeps getting better and better. LifeWay has done an amazing job in organizing the details and has recruited some of the best break-out teachers on the planet to teach the various age groups. All that said, let me give you some fast facts that will hopefully, address some questions you may have:
- The event is promoted to mothers with daughters ages 10 and up. However, we include age-specific breakout tracks during the event and since some ten year-olds are in 4th grade and others are in 5th grade, we include a track for 3rd-4th grade girls. That said, if your daughter is currently in 3rd grade, she is welcome to attend. I will not be addressing sensitive topics in my main messages from the platform. However, I may allude to some things in “code” that will be picked up by the older girls in attendance. For example, I may say something about “trading your purity…”, but I will not mention the word “sex” or blurt out other controversial buzz-words that may rob a younger girl of her innocence. Some of the more serious topics commonly faced by middle and high school girls will be addressed in the break-out sessions for their age group.
- If your daughter is on the younger end and you are trying to decide if she is old enough to absorb the teaching, allow me to address that concern. It is a tremendous challenge to speak to an audience ranging in age from 8-18 and their adult mothers without speaking down to the older girls or over the heads of the younger girls. My aim is to present biblical truths in a way that will resonate with all ages present. When asked by mothers of younger girls if I recommend they come, I tell them that the main goal should be an opportunity to get away with their daughters and expose them to other mothers and daughters who have the same concerns and values. If I had a 3rd or 4th grade daughter, I would sign her up, concluding that even if she only absorbed 10% of what was taught during the event, the value of spending a weekend with mom in an environment where other mothers and daughters have come together to learn more about the Lord far exceeds anything else I could possibly expose her to on a Saturday. In other words, you can’t put a price tag on seeing these little girls dance before the Lord during the worship time or holding their mother’s hand and snuggling up close to her (something we don’t commonly see among the older girls!). In other words, spending the day with mom and the overall “experience” of the event will be a long-term investment in her life even if she is unable to absorb everything taught while there.
- We are often asked if this is a good event to bring your daughter’s friends, a neighbor-girl, etc…. Yes! The event is marketed to mothers and daughters, but we try to be sensitive to the fact that not every girl attending will be joined by her mother. We applaud the grandmothers, aunts, and “mentor moms” who bring girls and are fulfilling a much-needed role in these girls’ lives.
- If your daughter is older, she may be resistant to come to the event. In other words, you may be far more excited about coming than your daughter who can think of a hundred better ways to spend her Saturday. We understand this challenge. Trust me, there was a time when my own daughter was in high school and she balked at going to mom’s events! Let me encourage you to do whatever you can to encourage her to come. Bring along another mom/daughter if that would make her more comfortable and turn it into a girls’ trip. Take her shopping. Buy her something! (Yes, I’m endorsing bribery.) After every event, we hear from moms of older girls who tell us their daughters’ hearts thawed as the day wore on and often, the event paved the way for them to talk about/address some serious topics on the way home and in the days that followed. (Ah, the value of being trapped in a car for a long road trip with mom, not to mention the value of someone else telling your daughter some of the things you’ve attempted to tell her!)
One last thing: I need for you to know that I am NOT a perfect parent. My children are NOT perfect children. I do not come to you as some sort of authority or expert at these events who has all the answers. I also want you to know that while my daughter and I are extremely close today (she’s 19), there were some seasons (ahem, during the high school years, cough, cough) when she didn’t much like me. And vice-versa. At the time, I often wondered if it was worth the “fight” to expose her to biblical teaching. On this end, we would both tell you it was well worth it. Even when she was rolling her eyes, a foundation was being built. Persevere! (As a side-note, my darling daughter will be driving 5 hours from her college campus to join me in Mississippi!)
I know it’s no easy task to give up an entire Saturday (or more for those of you traveling from out of town), so I hope I answered some of the questions you may have. If you have another question, please comment with it and I will do my best to address it (or route you to the right person at LifeWay who can help!). As of the time of this post, we currently have about 1200 registered for the Mississippi event on March 27th and nearly 1000 registered for the Dallas event on April 17th. We have room for more, but I wouldn’t wait to the last minute if you are thinking about coming. More information about the event (or to register) can be found by clicking here. I hope to see you this Spring!
Feb 16, 10
I was talking with my daughter on the phone yesterday and she asked me if I had seen the email her dad sent her on Valentine’s Day. Keith had mentioned he was planning to send her a note, but I was traveling over the weekend and had yet to see it (or him, for that matter!). In fact, I was in the process of unpacking from my trip when Paige called. I asked her to read it to me over the phone and when she did, oh boy, did I ever lose it. (For those of you who are new to my blog, my daughter is now 19 and a sophomore in college.)
Anyway, I thought it would make for a great blog post today, especially if you happen to have a little girl who thinks her daddy hung the moon. (And yes, I have their permission to share the note!)
From: Courtney, Keith
Sent: Sunday, February 14, 2010 7:53 AM
To: Paige Courtney
Subject: Happy Valentines DayHappy Valentines Day from your “Sweet Daddy Boy Date!” It brings back such great memories when I think of how you used to call me your Sweet Daddy Boy Date when you were little and when I think about all the dates we have been on!
I know it is not easy on you this Valentines Day since you do not have a boyfriend, but I will be your Sweet Daddy Boy Date on Valentines Day until you get married to your new Valentine (who, by the way, will be a very blessed man to have you!). I am very proud of you for being patient and not dating guys you know are not the kind of guys God would want you to date. I am confident that you will be blessed for your patience.
Since I cannot be there to take you on a date, I want you to have $25 to spend how you want. Feel free to use our credit card.
Do you want to Skype later today? If so, you will need to tell me how to do so.
I love you very much!
Dad
It is by no accident, my daughter refuses to view “dating” as a recreational hobby. It is by no accident, my daughter is saving herself for marriage. It is by no accident, my daughter has very high standards when it comes to a future husband. And it is by no accident, my daughter has set her sights on marrying someone…just like her father.
Thank you, Keith, for modeling to our daughter a true picture of what a godly man looks like. But, most of all, thank you for loving your daughter in such a way as to give her a tiny glimpse of God’s unfailing love. Because of your obedience and faithfulness to God, our daughter understands that true love has nothing to do with romance, and everything to do with redemption. Your walk with the Lord has been a reflection of the greatest love story ever told.
Feb 10, 10
I stumbled upon an article on FoxNews.com on Monday about a line of clothing for tween girls called Ooh! La La Couture that will launch this month. It was inspired by 8-year-old Disney “Hannah Montana” star, Emily Grace Reaves who “helped design the line.” The article states that her friend Noah Cyrus, 9, has also helped promote the collection in photos and online videos. Noah is Disney superstar Miley Cyrus’ younger sister. The Ooh! La La! Couture line will feature “versatile styles that can be worn with sweet ballerina slippers, funky sneakers or paired with lace stockings and boots for more of a rock and roll look.” (Click here to read the article.)
In all fairness, when I googled “Ooh! La La Couture,” some of the fashions for little girls (younger than tweens) look innocent and girly. But then I stumbled upon the images below for the tween line (used in promotional ads w/ models Emily Grace and Noah Cyrus), and um, wowsers. We went from girly to yikes, is there even a word for this?
Can someone please tell me what that pole is doing in the picture in the middle?! This tween fashion line supports the need for Conversation #2 in my book, 5 Conversations You Must Have With Your Daughter: Don’t be in such a hurry to grow up! In fact, Dr. Georgia Witkin, a professor of psychology at Mt. Sinai (and a Fox News contributor), had this to say about the line:
“When a child mimics the look of a teenager or an adult, they are skipping an entire developmental stage. Most of the values that kids learn in order to be able to handle the challenges of adult life are during the ages of 5-12,” Witkin said. “This is when they learn how to judge and how they are perceived. If they begin to believe that their value is based on their looks or their sexiness, it sends a completely wrong message.”
Witkin said that it is not the clothing that is necessarily the problem, but the potential emotional repercussions of growing up too fast.
“Developmentally, they can’t feel what it means to want to be attractive to the opposite sex. For them, it’s dress up,” Witkin said. “But when they dress like an older sibling, there is the danger that there will be emotions that go undeveloped and unexplored.”
“They are skipping an entire developmental stage.” A stage, mind you, they can never, ever get back. Why can’t we just let our little girls be….little girls? If you have a young daughter, fortunately, you can put the brakes on the rush to grow up. Remember, the buck stops with you.
UPDATE: We have been notified by a blog reader that the first and third images above are not promotional ads for Ooh! La La Couture, nor are the clothes in the first and third pictures part of their line. We are working to confirm whether this is true and if so, I will be more than happy to print a retraction. As I mentioned above, when I googled the label, I found the apparel in their line for younger girls to be innocent and girly, which I applaud. In all honesty, it’s something I would have bought for my own daughter in the infant/toddler years. In the meantime, I wanted to pass along a comment from the company (shared second hand by a blog reader who notified the company):
From Ooh! La La:
We have received many e-mails in recent days asking us about some incorrect stories regarding our clothes. We can’t respond to everyone individually, but we want you to know the facts:
Ooh! La, La! Couture has been a reputable, upscale children’s clothing brand since 2004. Our collection is based on delightful tutu dresses, which are pretty, fun and age-appropriate. Ooh! La, La! Couture does not make or promote a lingerie line and never will. Some of our clothes recently have been shown with accessories that weren’t made by us, and
the Ooh! La, La! Couture name has been shown next to clothing and photos that were not ours. Some people have incorrectly and unfairly assumed those items were our fashions. Ooh! La, La! Couture only makes tutu dresses, period. We only make clothes that are right for little girls and their families, and can be worn to birthday parties, ballet classes or play dates.
The founders of Ooh! La, La! Couture are moms themselves – “We wouldn’t make any clothes that we wouldn’t be proud to see on our own daughters and we never will.”
If this is true, I sincerely apologize for assuming the outfits in the images in question above were correctly labeled as part of the Ooh! La La fashion line. However, I am still greatly confused over the middle image with the pole and would love to know whose idea that was to use it as a prop in the picture. I am most disturbed that there were willing parents who allowed their daughters to dress in such a manner and pose with a pole as part of a prop, given the connotation most people walk away with upon seeing it.
If you have a daughter, I highly recommend you read this article in the Chicago Sun Times about celebrity, Heidi Montag’s recent ten plastic surgery procedures (in one day). By the way, she’s only 23. Even if your daughter is too young to know who Heidi Montag is, it’s still worth the read since she will be exposed to this dangerous line of thinking at some point on down the road. Here are the procedures she had done in 10 hours of surgery:
- Mini brow lift
- Botox in forehead and frown area
- Nose job revision
- Fat injections in cheeks
- Chin reduction
- Neck liposuction
- Ears pinned back
- Breast augmentation revision
- Liposuction on waist, hips, and inner and outer thighs
- Buttock augmentation
Here is an excerpt of the article, which sheds some light into Montag’s irrational justification:
Perhaps even more troubling than her procedures is Montag’s justification for this obviously excessive amount of plastic surgery. Like a lot of children, Montag was teased while growing up, and she says this prompted her to go under the knife, as her so-called imperfections “held me back from a certain inner light and an inner happiness.”
It’s as if Montag is broadcasting right into the insecurities of young girls everywhere. And, while men also grapple with body image issues, it is young girls who will examine her newly taut body and decide they don’t measure up (Click here to read more.)
If you’ve read my book for mothers of daughters, 5 Conversations You Must Have With Your Daughter, you might remember that Conversation #1 is: “You are more than the sum of your parts.” No doubt, we have our work cut out for us when it comes to redefining beauty. Chances are, we’ve each personally bought into the world’s beauty lies at some level and are working overtime to correct our own insecurities in an effort to break the cycle of dysfunction. I know I still am. Plagued by an eating disorder that I struggled off and on with in my high school and college years (as well as my young 30’s), I’m still working hard to replace the negative tapes that became my constant coach and skewed my thinking over the years.
Just recently, I found myself obsessing in front of my mirror about what could be/might be/please Lord, don’t let it be the beginnings of a spider vein on the back of one of my calves. Gasp. After a good five minute inspection where I tried desperately to convince myself it was a faint bruise, I made a mental note to google “spider vein treatment options” when I got back to my computer. Fortunately, the good Lord interrupted my I-may-never-wear-shorts-again pity party with a gentle reminder of Proverbs 31:30, “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” And if we ever needed a reminder that “beauty is indeed, fleeting,” hitting the big 4-0 will do the trick.
I don’t want my daughter to suffer the same mental anguish I have from falling prey to the world’s beauty lies. As I mentioned in Conversation #1, it will be impossible to convince our daughters they are more than the sum of her parts unless we have first embraced the truth for ourselves. I want my daughter to take care of God’s temple by focusing on nutrition and exercise, but I want her main focus to be the pursuit of a drop-dead, gorgeous heart in the eyes of God. And maybe I’m a tad bit biased, but she’s already well on her way!
Feb 1, 10
I had a little visitor at my house this morning that left me awfully excited to be a grandma (in the right order, please!). Notice my little visitor didn’t leave me wanting for another baby of my own…just the kind I can play with, spoil, and then hand right back over to mom or dad. I am A-OKAY with being an empty-nester in a mere year and a half, especially on the heels of this past weekend. Suffice it to say, I had to address a situation with my youngest (age 16) that would easily qualify as one of my top three parenting challenges to date. (Good timing with me writing the 5 Conversations You Must Have With Your Son book, wouldn’t you say?)
Anyway, sweet little “Austin” is the third son of my first-ever Assistant/Event Director. I hired Katy about two months before she graduated from UT in the fall of ‘99 and she played a key role in helping grow the ministry from its oh-so-humble beginnings. She went on to marry a few years later and eventually left to focus on an even more exciting ministry: Being a wife and mom! I couldn’t be more proud of her. I don’t get to see her much because they moved out of Austin a few years back, so today was a special surprise. She left her older two boys behind to reduce the chaos level and make it possible for us to be able to visit and catch up. With three kids (kindergarten and younger), she has her hands full. She mentioned feeling “exhausted” and I reminded her that this is one of the craziest parenting seasons she’ll have to endure . I recall (vividly) just how physically exhausting it was to manage in those sleep-deprived years where your entire day seems to revolve around breaking up fights and arguing with toddlers over what color cup to put their apple juice in.
While it’s certainly exhausting to raise teenagers, I find it to be more mentally exhausting than physically exhausting. The constant struggle to stay on top of the challenges/temptations they face is beyond a full-time job. Not to mention, fulfilling the exhausting (there’s that word, again) task of equipping them to stand on their own, while finding that tedious balance of not being too lenient or too over-protective. Just reading those last two sentences makes me want to take a nap. Did I mention that I’m exhausted after this weekend? Did I mention that as sad as it is to think of my last one leaving in a year and half, I’m not feeling particularly sad about it today? Would it be carrying it a bit too far if I added a countdown on my blog?
Even on the heels of a challenging weekend, I can still say that I love being a mom. But, I am certainly beginning to see the merits of being a grandmother. Not only do you get to cuddle with them when they are little and hand them right back over, you are OFF THE CLOCK in their teen years. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m certainly happy to pray during the teen years and be on call to offer advice should my kids need me, but then I’m hanging up and going right back to being OFF THE CLOCK. Which begs the question: If they need to call me for advice, can I get cell phone reception on a beach in Hawaii or one of those Alaskan cruise ships?
Jan 28, 10
One of the most common questions I’m asked in regard to speaking is, “How do you get up there in front of all those people?” Actually, for me, the hardest part about being a speaker is making sure I deliver the right message when I step up on the platform. Once I’m clear on the message God wants me to bring, getting up on the platform is the easy part because I can hardly wait to share His life-changing Truths with others. This past week, I’ve been working on a new message for Spring/2010 that I am super-excited about and it got me thinking about other speakers and the process they go through when developing a new message for an upcoming event. I’ve always admired pastors and Sunday school teachers who diligently prepare weekly messages. How in the world do they do it, week after week?! My husband falls into this category, having taught an adult Sunday morning Bible study class at our church for 22 years. I’ve watched him diligently prepare for his weekly lesson and needless to say, his development process is a bit more (okay, ALOT more) organized than mine!
I know it’s a personality thing, but seriously, we couldn’t be more different. We’re talking about a guy who studied well in advance of every test in college in order that he might go to bed early on the night before the test so he could be rested on the day of the exam. Like seriously, who does that? Let me put our differences into perspective for you: I didn’t get serious about studying for a test until Love Boat ended (around midnight) on the night before the exam. Or I guess, technically speaking, the morning of the exam. This might explain how my husband managed to graduate valedictorian of Chemical Engineering at The University of Texas and I managed to um, just graduate. Barely. In five and a half years. Non-valedictorian. Non-Chemical-Engineering. But, I’m the proud recipient of a framed degree, all the same.
All this to say, my Type-A, methodical, super-organized husband prepares his weekly lessons in a very Type-A, methodical, super-organized fashion. This would also explain why he experienced increased heart palpitations and mumbled “Bless Your Heart,” when he recently passed through the living room and caught a glimpse (see image above) of my preparation process when it comes to developing a new message. It may look a bit scrambled and chaotic, but trust me, there’s a valid system going on, here — even if it’s only valid to me. Anyway, since I’m deep in the trenches of developing this new message, I thought it might make for an interesting blog post on how I get from point A to point Z in developing a message. Here are a few key components that make up the process:
1. The message must be something I’m absolutely passionate about and have walked through personally, on some level. This one sounds like a no-brainer, but you’d be surprised if you knew how many speakers accept invitations where they are required to speak to a specific theme — one, mind you in which they have little knowledge, experience, and thus, passion for the topic at hand. Been there, done that. For this reason, I no longer accept speaking invitations where I am asked to develop a series of messages based on a particular event theme (Exception: If the theme is general enough to allow for some latitude, I will consider it). Once an event is finalized on my calendar, I lean heavily on God (through prayer) to initiate the next step. In other words, I present the assigned engagement to God and then I step back and listen for His direction. Ideally, this part of the process takes place 1-2 months in advance to give God plenty of time to nudge this heart of mine. Normally, He directs me to develop a message based on something He has recently taught me or brought me through in my own life.
2. The messages must center on a foundational biblical text, rather than a “topic.” In other words, the text will drive the topic, rather than vice-versa. For example, I was recently asked to address modesty as “part of my message” to a large group of teen girls. Rather than go into the event with guns blaring and blast them with 1 Timothy 2:9 and a list of what-not-to-wear items of apparel, I camped on passages of scripture that deal instead with the need to examine one’s heart. Dressing immodestly (as a means to garner male attention), is a symptom of a deeper problem. If I focus on the topic of modesty with the goal of inciting them to do a closet make-over when they get home where they purge out the list of “what-not-to-wear” items (aka: Hoochie-wear), I’ve only managed to put a band-aid on the real problem. It is a matter of the heart and if it’s not addressed at the root, it will manifest itself in some other way, long after the closet make-over. (Thus, my recent Tweet: “Christianity is not about behavior modification, but rather, heart inhabitation.”)
3. The message will not be media or power point dependent. I did a You & Your Girl event last year for over 1000 girls and moms where my sound technician experienced a little (big?!) crash that left me with out my technology. I didn’t get word of the crash until I cued him from the platform for the first Power Point slide and he stepped out of the booth shaking his head back and forth and mouthing a silent “I’m sorry.” Mind you, my message addressed “common beauty lies” and my power-point slides illustrated actual air-brushed images of celebrities to support the culture’s narrow definition of beauty. Fortunately, my message was centered on foundational Biblical passages related to God’s definition of beauty, so that remained the emphasis of my message. The slides were nothing more than an added accessory to support the text. In other words, I would be at a real loss if I step up on the platform without my Bible, not my Power Point. Don’t misunderstand, I love using technology to illustrate a point and will continue to use it, but should it not be available, I’ll be just fine with my Bible in hand.
4. A complete and total yielding to God regarding the message. This one is a bit scary. I want to be so yielded to God, that should He nudge my heart to change the direction of a message within 24 hours of an event, I will be obedient to follow His lead. I had this happen recently with a message I had prepared for a local women’s event. I prepared a message a couple weeks in advance (a message I was passionate about and in truth, would have been just fine). However, I woke up the morning of the event and felt a strong urging that God was leading me to give a completely different message. Normally, if God changes the direction of a message, He gives me a bit more notice, but in this case, I had a little over an hour to flesh out the new message. (I was focusing on a few biblical truths that God had recently used to spark revival in my own heart, so I was not really starting from scratch.) It all worked out and by the time I hopped in my car to head over to the venue, I could hardly wait to step up on the platform and deliver the assigned message. Not surprisingly, I received more positive feedback on this message than any other I can remember!
5. A clear understanding of my assigned role as a “speaker.” I will never step up onto the platform and deliver a message as an “authority” or “expert.” I am nothing more than a broken vessel, or for that matter, a donkey. I’ve reasoned that if God can speak through a donkey as He did with Balaam in Numbers 22, He can likewise, use me. Vicki = Donkey. I see myself (and pray you will, as well) as nothing more than a fellow sojourner on this pilgrimage to know God and make Him known. In knowing my place, I can present the assigned message with sincerity and authenticity. I want to have the freedom to share my own faults and struggles, as well as, the faults and struggles of my children (when permission is granted). I have zero interest in playing the “pretender game” where attendees leave the event under the false impression that the speaker somehow has her act together and thus, has unlocked the secret to raising Polyanna-perfect children or for that matter, is herself, a Polyanna-perfect child of God. No thank you!
So, there you have it. And on that note, I really must get back to finishing up this message. I’m missing some notes related to the message that I scribbled down on the back of a receipt from Panera Bread in a spur-of-the-inspired-moment and I’m on the hunt to find them. First stop: the floorboard of my car…
Jan 27, 10
UPDATE: We have a winner! Congratulations to: shawnfawver@gmail.com!
If you have a son, I could use your help as I begin writing my next book, 5 Conversations You Must Have With Your Son. In exchange for your help, I will enter you in a drawing for a signed copy of Your Boy as well as a signed copy of Cheri Fuller’s book, The Mom You’re Meant to Be. All you need to do to be eligible for the drawing is post a comment beneath this post (no emails please), and let me know about a concern (one or more) you have in raising your son(s) in today’s culture. It can be a challenge you have personally experienced with your son or for those of you with younger sons, perhaps, something you see coming down the pipe in regard to raising boys. If it’s a challenge you’ve already faced, I would love to know the age of your son at the time you faced the challenge. (Ex: Discovered he was viewing porn sites on computer: Age 12)
Thanks so much for your help! We’ll draw for a winner one week from today.
And P.S.: That’s my youngest son in the picture above (now 16 1/2). He recently used this picture as his profile pic on Facebook, so I figure he won’t mind if I post it here, right?
